Since there's hardly any driver's education classes offered in public schools anymore- I thought I'd step up and offer helpful hints to the many no-drivers on our nations roads and freeways.
First lesson: Your vehicle's accessories.
See that lever on the left side of the steering wheel? That's your tune signal/lane change indicator (no- not the lever that adjusts your steering wheel).
The turn signal/lane change indicator is to used ONLY IN EMERGENCIES: like when you have to turn or change lanes when there's a police car behind you.
Otherwise- don't touch this lever- continue to talk or text on your cellphone and leave the other hapless drivers around you clueless as to what your next move (usually sudden and without warning) will be.
"But Captain- I didn't use this lever and got into an accident. What then?"
Well- constant use of that lever will possibly make you a DRIVER- and no no-driver wants THAT do they?
Next lesson: Proper no-driver freeway ramp etiquette.
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